ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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