the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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