I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
