Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
