After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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