Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
