Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
