it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
