You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
