Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
