i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
