Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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