i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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