Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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