some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
