So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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