I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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