I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
