My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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