Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
They have beer where we have blood.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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