I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
