If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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