she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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