thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I cannot find my penis.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
