Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
do nipples grow back?
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