How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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