found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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