Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize