Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
