Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize