she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize