Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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