It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
