i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
