I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
