So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
