What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
