giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
