Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think I am morally bankrupt
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Be still, my beating vagina.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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