Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
