so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
