I drank myself into bisexuality again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
