so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
