and she was petting her beer can
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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