You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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