I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
