So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
