Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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