I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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