I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize