The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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