I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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