New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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