Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
