got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
