Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
