Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
